"press on towards the goal" ... this has been in my mind for a few days. The Bible says in Philippians to press on towards the goal, to forget about what is behind you and press on to what is ahead. It seems simple. Don't look back, just continue to focus on what is in front of you and everything else is just history. Right?! I think about scary movies and how there always seems to be that one silly girl that just has to turn around and see what's chasing her and then .... well, you know, things just don't work out for her in the end. If she would have just kept her eyes on the exit and ran towards it without turning around, she woulda made it!(maybe) But that never makes for a good scary movie, so they always turn around....(just had the "turn around, bright eyes" lyrics run through my mind,.... and now your singing it...)
But if we think about life and about all the things that drag us down and all the "remember whens" that pop into our heads that make us have regrets or a new lapse in judgment ... what if we just pressed on? What if we didn't worry about what could have been and what should have happened? I know I can get bogged down in the "what if's" of this life. There are so many people, websites, Dr's, blogs, TV shows, movies, etc - telling us how to live - what "normal" looks like, what "marriage" looks like etc....etc .... But I know that the only Truth that I truly believe and that I should truly count on day in and day out... is The Word of God. So why is it so hard to stay focused and on track?
Autism isn't easy ... but it is a lot easier than other things that we could be facing. So I guess it's time for me to be thankful for Autism - now just because I typed this does not mean that I have convinced myself of this idea completely - but it is something I am working on. I should be thankful for all the things that come with it. I have two happy and very healthy little boys. I sometimes worry about them and wonder how their relationship would be different if Ty could talk and didn't have the barrier that autism places on his relationships ... would he be included in more things because he was able to ask to participate or would he not want to do them because its not something that interests him? Would he and Tripp still have that brotherly love that is so evident or would there be more sibling rivalry... would they have a stronger bond or would it be the same? Would we go more places? I could go on for days, but all that to say... how can I press on towards the goal when I'm stirring up so many questions? Who cares what anyone else says. We were all created to give glory to God and I plan to strive to teach my two boys just that. Now I am not perfect and I am not saying that I have all the answers or that I follow all the rules ... but Jesus never said that once you know everything - then you will be saved... He said to believe & confess .... I believe He can and will do great things with my family and I am excited to see what He has in store for us ...
I know I haven't been on this journey long and I know that I have a long way to go... but if you are anything like me and you are just beginning to face a new diagnosis or challenge in your life. You may just hit it head on and start reading and diving into every book, website, Dr, therapist, teacher, and parent you know searching for answers, searching for a cure, searching for the latest and greatest therapy. But really it all boils down to one thing - well first let me say - yes those things are good, but don't let it consume you, all advice is not always good advice, and just because it's on the Internet or in a book doesn't mean it's a good idea... I'm sure you know that, but sometimes we get desperate... but you should also know that God is real and whether you believe in Him or not, He loves you and He wants to have a relationship with you. He is the reason I can do this.
love yall! and thanks for reading!
