The Media...

I really don't like the media ... there are so many reasons but right now I am going to focus on Autism. The media does not tell the whole story on Autism (or anything else). Some will tell you all about the amazing talents and savant abilities while others show you mass murderers and call them mentally ill and psychotic?! This hurts my heart because it tells you nothing about Autism. I use to think that kids/people with autism where geniuses, all of them. That they had a large vocabulary and could learn anything in a matter of seconds but that they were just a little socially awkward. This is partially true and that's the problem with the media. We watch movies, tv shows and read articles that give us these stereotypes and then accept them as truth. We accept something to be true without really investigating ourselves. We are to busy to stop what we are doing until it hits us head on, then we read and research. I know it is true for me. I didn't really want to know about autism until it slapped me in the face and I still don't know everything but here is what I do know:

Autism is so much more than being really smart. Yes I have found that kids diagnosed with autism are very intelligent but so many of them struggle with daily activities. At times it is hard to speak because there is so much more going on with their bodies to even try and form words and have conversations. If you are in starvation mode, not just missing a meal but literally starving, then your body seeks food first and everything else is just nonsense until that need is met.

In the same way your body seeks food when it's hungry, sensory needs take priority. They need input, kind of like a lamp has to have some kind of power source, people with autism need a certain amount of sensory input to feel balanced and to be able to function. Ty loves deep pressure. He wants to be squeezed, tossed in a bean bag and wrestled with. Every person is different and a sensory need for one may not be a need for another. Ty also loves loud noises (to my knowledge - this is not common), he will bang cabinet doors, spin metal bowls and dump out toy boxes just for the clanking and banging sounds.

Eating is a struggle on so many levels.  For us it started with getting past textures, it was months before we could get Ty off of baby food and soft foods into solids. He still prefers breads and we cut his food into really small pieces at meal times. He can still be a very picky eater and something that worked yesterday may not work today for a variety of reasons but you learn to go with the flow and just have lots of options.  We celebrate meal times that are without any mishaps! It's the small things that we learn to focus on and regression is an ugly enemy that we fight. Pulling food out that has been chewed and throwing it on the floor is not as common as it once was but it's still there from time to time. Drinking out of a cup is something we are also working on, he has graduated to a big boy sippy cup and we are pretty much past drooling while drinking but he hasn't concurred drinking out of a regular cup without being drenched in the drink or gagging because it came out to fast. That doesn't mean he doesn't try! He can spot an unattended cup a mile away and do his best to suck it down before we can get to him. If he is quiet in the kitchen, we know he is up to something. :)  There are so many families that have similar struggles.  Allergies are a hot topic with Autism. The Gluten Free Casein Free Diet is something that I am sure everyone hears about and tosses around the idea. It works for some but not everyone. If your body is allergic to something it can cause alot of different things anything from a bad attitude to going into epileptic shock. Some people find the the GFCF diet frees their child from the behaviors that come with autism. Which then allows them to focus on language and other therapies. We have tried it but nothing changed for us. Not to say it won't work for you? I think anything is worth a shot at least once. But if you are thinking about this diet, you have to be all in or you will never know if it really works. Supplements are also a huge help! We love to use a drink called "Spark" that helps with mental focus and pro biotic supplements to assist with his digestion but everyone is different and I know that what works for some may not work for others.

Joint compression is another need that we attempt to meet on a daily basis. Alot of kids with autism love to jump and Ty is definitely one of those. Trampolines are great for therapy! It helps him get all the joint compression he needs and he loves it!

Swinging is a must in our house. Ty has always loved to swing, as a baby he would get mad if we removed him from his infant swing. So he literally had to grow out of it before we would remove it from our home. We graduated to Little Tike's swings in our play room and now we are using a hammock swing! Swinging sooths him like nothing else!

Language is tough. Some kids have an infinite vocabulary. Others struggle to say "hello". Ty desperately tries to communicate with us and is constantly getting our attention to have a conversation. He has a handful of words and he has recently learned how to nod his head for "yes" and shake his head for "no". He can say "momma", "iPad", "my iPad", "more", "uhah"(no), "ball", "bird", "papaw", "pabby"(but we don't use this any more - that's a whole nother story), and I am sure I am missing some but you get the gist. The main way he communicates now is by pointing and babbling until we understand what it is he wants. We have to make a point to pull the words out of him. If he can say something then we have to wait him out or he just won't talk. He will yell and fake cry to get his point across and to tell us that he's thirsty or wants his iPad but if we give in, then he will never use his words. I don't know if it's just that hard to get them out or if he's just testing us to see what works? Either way we have to be strong and wait for him to say or sign the things that we know he can and to challenge him to learn new ones.

There is alot of therapy time that comes with Autism. ABA therapy - Applied Behavioral Analysis, Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Physical therapy are just a few. ABA therapy is my favorite, it is the one that really works best for Ty. It challenges him the most - I probably won't explain this right - and Maria help me out if you're reading this :). But the short version is that you find a behavior you want to replace and through a rewards system replace that behavior with a new one. You can also create a new behavior (signing, talking, etc) by using the reward system to bring that behavior out of him. I hope that makes since? It's not easy and it takes someone who knows what they are doing and who can resist his sweet southern charm but it works! Oh man does it work!

Sleeping is a constant struggle. Ty is now sleeping pretty good compared to where we started but going to sleep is a fight and staying asleep is not always easy? We have tried lots of things and are currently using melatonin to help him go to sleep some nights. There have been a few nights that he has slept in his room all night but most of the time he wakes up and comes to our room and sleeps with us until about 6:30am and then he is ready to wake up the world! I have found that most people with autism have some kind of sleep problems and the common recommendation is melatonin first and I'm not really sure what step comes after that?

But basically I am telling you all of this to say, Autism is not what I thought it was. It's not just being crazy smart! And my heart breaks every time I hear of a mass shooting and then they want to draw attention to the fact that the shooter was mentally ill and had autism. I really don't think that has anything to do with the tragedy. Unfortunately there are horrible things in this world. I am a firm believer in God and His son Jesus and because of that I know that Satan is real and alive in our world and that he will do anything to harm and deceive us. Let's not be deceived, lets look right through the media and let's see people as God intended. We are all His creation and whether you choose to believe in God or not, you have that option. But for those of you who do believe, God calls us to LOVE. To love everyone. So for me I really don't like the media because it causes me to see things in a way that I know is not true.

I saw a movie recently, one of the characters appeared to have autism. At one point in the movie he said that he hated God because he made him like this. And I broke, I cried and I wondered - what if Ty feels that way when he grows up? So many thoughts ran through my head. That's when I had to stop and tell myself, "it's just a movie". How many times do we all get caught up in the what ifs that we miss the right now? I know I do.... so yeah the media can put fear in anyone just look at all the chaos we are in right now? And why? Now I'm not trying to blame the media for all of our problems because I am the one that allowed myself to think those thoughts... but it just puts things back into perspective, I need to focus on the here and now not that what may be! :)


thanks for reading!
feel free to comment or correct me on anything that may be wrong :)

Resolution

Resolution by definition is a formal decision to do or not to do something.  I've never really been one to make resolutions with the new year. Mainly because I know that at some point I will most likely find interest in something else or give up on ever being skinny, etc lol. However, this year is different, lucky 13 I suppose but this year I am going to challenge myself. I decided that if I share with the world (the 50 or so people that keep up with me on here) then I will be more accountable. I want to do a lot of things but first and foremost I want to educate others on autism. When we began this journey I read books, scoured the Internet, talked with friends and family, called parents of children that had autism, talked with friends of friends and soaked up any and every drop of information I could find. I still research and I still talk with friends and family, Dr's and therapists and I still feel like there is so much more to learn. The fact that Ty is starting school this August has me in somewhat of an overdrive mode. I want so many things for him but south Mississippi is really behind when it comes to teaching kids with autism and any special need. I've thought about moving, but how can I uproot my family? We have such an amazing support group here and our church is just flat out amazing! I really don't think we should run from a lack of services. Instead I want to enhance the services in our area. Why not, right?! It sounds easy in my head. I know it will be hard and it will cost a lot of money. But why not try? So my formal decision for 2013 is to educate others and create a place that Ty and kids like him can learn without the worries of "the system".

Now I know that I don't know everything and I know that I can only educate someone with the amount of knowledge that I already posses. So I will also be educating myself so that I can pass that education on to others. I am new to this and we are just getting started with the whole idea of "real school" so I am always open to any advice and suggestions on how to go about this whole process.

For those of you that may be reading this and need somewhere to start. www.austismspeaks.org is an amazing website. If you live in South Mississippi, we love The Children's Center at USM and Will's Way Behavioral on old 11 in Hattiesburg. Just somewhere to get the ball rolling.

thanks for reading! and wish us luck!

transition into school

So most of our journey with Ty has been in home therapies and the amazing Children Center at USM in hattiesburg. We recently added Will's Way of hattiesburg to his weekly list as well.  But it wasn't easy getting here.  I learned real quick that if you want something for your child then you will have to fight for it.  There are places and centers that are just amazing (those listed above for example) but there are also schools and centers that have great programs and are not willing to let you in because of where you live.  It shouldn't be like this. I feel that children with special needs should be allowed to choose the school that fits their needs. If every school put forth the same effort then there would be no need for this. However, most schools do just enough to get by. I have been told that they(a school) only have to provide a "Chevrolet" of services and not a "Cadillac"?! Really?! This infuriates me, how can you tell me that you are providing just enough therapy and services to get by, just enough to keep people off your back and that you are not willing to fight and provide the best??? How can I willingly allow my child to attend a school that has basically told me that they don't want to work, they don't want to challenge Ty to get the best out of him?! I know lots of teachers and I think they are all amazing to even go into this profession and special needs teachers are even held higher in my book. I know it's hard but don't take it out on the kids. I know that teachers aren't given the credit they deserve and that it is a job that comes with few rewards but know that this momma appreciates a good teacher. I know that if you teach you deal with so much more than classroom prep and children. You get worn out, you wonder if its worth it. But if you touch one life because you did your best, then it is worth it all!

I think that schools should be held higher standards and that one school should not be better than another, especially within a 30 mile radius. Why would they not all be able to offer the same services. Why would they not be able to offer the best services? Why would they not want to??? I just don't get it. It's going to be so hard to send Ty to Kindergarten in August. I am worried about him regressing, I worry about him not being cared for properly, what if he isn't challenged? What if they mistreat him? What if they don't care? I can fight for a lot of things and I will. But it shouldn't have to come to that. It shouldn't come down to IEP meetings and arguing to get something that my son needs and that other children like him need. Administrators shouldn't be seen as barriers to get through to get into good places. I shouldn't have to search for loop holes. Everyone wants the best for their children so why is the best dangled on a string and only the one that jumps the highest or grabs a ladder gets the prize?

I have made phone calls and been in "interviews" trying to get Ty into the best place I can find. But I feel like I'm on trial, trying to prove that he needs it?! Trying to explain what he can and can't do and what I think he needs. At the beginning of these meetings I am nice and try my best to ask all the right questions and get all answers I need without breaking into a female version of The Hulk. At the end of these meetings, I often feel like they look at me as a problem. They see me as someone who will not be satisfied so then why would they want to deal with me? Shouldn't they want parents that are involved? Shouldn't they also want my son to receive the best care possible so that he can learn and grow and be loved???

I'm all over the place in this post but I have so much to say and I am doing my best to say it without being offensive?! lol

On another note we are currently in a new Daycare center and things are wonderful! They have really taken to Ty and he seems to be doing really well :) And like I said earlier we are also still at the Children's Center and Will's Way in hattiesburg and things are going great there too! :)

thanks for reading! :)

free speech isn't all that free

So I'm not the type to back down from a fight, most would agree that I can argue and go toe to toe with just about anybody - or they would at least agree that I think I can and that I will surely not back down until I felt my point has been made and whatever it is I am fighting for has been accomplished.  That being said, I still think daycare sucks and "the system" is trying but it's a joke when it comes to kids with special needs of any kind.
There are people out there who really try and there are people who really care. We have met and we have worked with and still work with lots of people like this, but we have fought to get there.  The past week has been a little crazy to say the least.  There are alot of things I would like to tell you and alot of names I would like to write, and on a bad day I may do just that. Heck if you catch me in public I might tell you what I think. But not here... free speech isn't all that free. Yes I can say what I want but then "someone" may or may not agree with it and then ... well thats just something i'd rather not waste my time on at the moment...
I have bigger battles and I would rather my attention be focussed on the task at hand - my boys.  Ty is the reason I started this blog and I will continue to fight for everything he needs and if my name becomes mud because of it I really don't care.  I won't stand by knowing that there are educators and care givers who only want to do enough to get by, please if you are reading this and debating on a career in the world of a special needs child or individual or a job caring for any living individual - but are only doing it for the money or recognition.... please don't do it... if you don't love kids, if you don't love people.... don't assume this is easy - you need to be a strong person mentally, at times physically strong, you have to be patient, slow to anger, you have to have a huge heart, etc.... if you are lacking in any of these I don't mean to sound harsh. But please consider a new career or job, don't passively assist children who seek for every inch of you and who need not only your full and undivided attention but who also need a place in your heart. Children are gifts from God and they should be cherished, every child, even those that are hard to understand.

We are still searching for someone to watch the boys and have a few leads so prayers are definitely appreciated ... thanks for reading

And I appreciate all of the love & support over the past week from all of you! You have no idea how much it means to me and our family! I love yall

Daycare....

Well, I'm mad, pissed, ticked off....Daycare sux! The whole thing is a racket, they take advantage of the fact that most working couples or single parents need them and then they run with it. So we are on our 5th daycare (Ty is 4 Tripp is 3): our first sitter was awesome, but then she got a job :) we still love her though. Then lets just say the next 3 didn't work out for various reasons (we weren't kicked out, but timing with Ty's diagnosis  made us continue to search for a new place.) The daycare the boys were at recently...was great, up until now. I mean really we are an ideal customer - Ty only goes monday and friday and every now and then he will go for a few hours on tuesday and wednesday in the morning before therapy, it just all depends on whose taking him and everyones schedule, etc. (we pay full price) But lately they have called me on the days he's there a full day and asked me to come get him bc he is crying and they don't know whats wrong.  This typically happens at nap time. I've talked with them about it and they have said that nothing has changed and they want to blame it on his therapy schedule and him being at two places messes up his schedule at daycare. Now I know that routine is good, but Ty has done great there he would even walk to his mat and lay down for a nap, so something changed and they claim nothing has on their end? However I know that they switched his nap room and that he isn't allowed a pillow or blanket? They've been at this daycare for over a year and Ty has had some bad days, but now it's daily (the two days he goes full time) I have met with them and met with them about how to work with Ty. I have offered his iPad and other options to just get passed nap time but nothing seems to satisfy them. It's like they just want to keep saying "No, we've done everything we can" "We love him, he is our angel and we would hate to lose him, but we hope Tripp still can come" BLAH! (insert anger and flames rising in my eyes). He was there for 15 minutes this past monday and they already called to say he was upset and I needed to come, we paid them in a check that morning as always but they requested cash.(sam refused). Before I could get to the daycare she wanted to know if I had the cash and she'd give me back our check - It's 7:45 banks aren't open - um no, I do not, you can cash a check. When I got there I calmed him down, talked to the workers and as I left, he waved goodbye so I know he was happy, but she told me as I was walking out, we will probably call you at nap time?!!!!! They don't even give him a chance??? So they called at nap time, I left work to pick them up at 1:30 and that's when the rejection started. I had a long talk with the owner about things to do, but I could tell that it didn't matter what I said, her mind was made up. Imagine a cute little disney character with such a sweet voice telling you in a round about way that they love your child and he is amazing and they want to make sure that you find someone who will care for him and not mistreat him, and to find someone who will work with him and let him participate and not be ignored.... but that he's not welcome here. Tripp is... but not Ty. It's just probably best for him to be somewhere else. (end of the sweet little voice)
If you know me you know what I'm thinking, you know that I am burning red and if possible would shoot fire out of my eyes, you know that I want to jump up, fight and beat them into submission! I want to say...I'm sorry but you obviously don't care about my kid, or you would try... you wouldn't let a little ruckus at nap time mess with his awesomeness. I asked them if he hurt anyone or himself? The answer is no, he's just disruptive at nap time. They even tell me how great he does during arts and crafts?! REALLY????? Then what is the real issue here? What is really going on??? Their response - "we just don't know, we've tried everything" I would tell you what my mother in law and step mom say about this, but let's just say it's not appropriate! Don't mess with my family - I can be your worst nightmare!
So what do you do? Is it discrimination? I have friends and family that say "yes". But we don't want them to be there now because we know that they don't want him there. So how do you handle this in a way that the good guy wins? How is it ok for them to up and decide - no we aren't going to do this anymore? He's been there for over a year!? They constantly praise his improvements and even offered just two weeks ago to keep him longer if we couldn't find a K5???? I wouldn't be so mad if they weren't two faced. Just tell me like it is, don't sugar coat anything! And you really really don't need to tell me that one of my children are welcome but the other is not?!!!!! AHHH! I guess I'll just be mad for a while and continue to search for a new place.... prayers and suggestions are appreciated! :)

behavior

Hey everyone! Well I read a post on facebook today that really got me thinking. It was a photo of a 9 year old little boy with autism, who had a black eye and other injuries from police officers that were trying to control him while he was in an "outburst/tantrum" or something like that.... it enraged me! How can someone do that? The story goes something like this:

By JG Vibes
September 27 2012

At Baldwin South Intermediate School in Quincy Illinois a 9 year old autistic child was taken from his special needs classroom with bruises all over his face and incarcerated after he was beat up by police.

The incident began when Roger Parker, Jr. had some sort of unpleasant experience which lead to an outburst, where the teachers had difficulty keeping him under control.

They tried to isolate him in some kind of time out area, which probobly made the situation even more scary and confusing for him. When he tried to get out of this time out area by climbing a dividing wall police were already there to attempt to subdue him.

At that point police officer Calkins ripped the child from the wall by his limbs like a ragdoll, causing his face to smash against the wall, which resulted in a massive black eye . He was then wrestled to the ground by police and taken into custody.

The boy was detained and booked for aggravated battery against a police officer and his family was denied access to him for a certain period of time. Mother Brandi Kirchner told news station KHQA that “I asked to see my son.

Forty-five minutes later, after they told me he did not need a parent present because he was under arrest and not being interrogated. He was fingerprinted, photographed, and booked for aggravated battery to a police officer.”

Kirchner said she is upset because she recently discussed a plan on how to handle her son if he has an outburst.

She believes the plan wasn’t followed and she has concerns that police placed her son in handcuffs before she was ever contacted. Since the incident she has removed her son from the Quincy Public School system and is investigating home schooling options.

Please tell me this is fake and that it didn't happen?! I don't know where to start...?! I posted the picture and link on my facebook page and then I just felt the need to share it here too .... it scares me - mainly because we are dealing with outbursts with Ty right now. He loves to wrestle and has started to push Tripp and others and hit - he can hit pretty hard too. He will just rare back his arms and slingshot them at his target, he doesn't really aim, but he is much taller than most kids his age and his arm span lands right at Tripp's face every time.  We are trying to stop this behavior but it's hard because it will come out of nowhere, if he's playing he thinks its funny to hit, and then when he's mad he rares back and just smacks whatever and whoever is in his way. He has also thrown things at times - and not just a toss - I'm talking fastball with a loud bang at the end. At church sunday he pushed down some of the younger kids in the nursery and it just broke my heart - I don't want him to hurt other kids and I really don't think he wants to either... he just doesn't know how to hold all that in.
I don't want people to be afraid of Ty or afraid of what he might do because he is such a fun kid! He loves life and loves people - he doesn't always know how to express that but we are working on it. He has a hard time realizing his own strength and understanding that he can't tackle everyone he sees. He loves to rough house, I think alot of that has to do with the fact that he needs lots of sensory input and deep pressure input so what better way to get that to wrestle with the nearest prospect?! (So technically he's seeking his own therapy) But teaching him that he can't do that is hard when communication is a barrier. Over the past few months we have realized more and more that Ty does understand what we are saying and that his receptive language is there in a huge way, which is great! But I think the frustration of not being able to tell us what he is thinking and feeling becomes overwhelming and he just gets mad. I know I do - if I can't get my point across to someone it can make me so mad that I could throw, hit, scream... but we learn to control that. So when I read articles about kids and kids with any disability that are arrested and beaten bc they lost control it scares me - what teacher, officer and adult can do this to a child, where is our patience? kindness? gentleness?self-control? How can a 9 year old be charged with assaulting an officer when the nine year old is battered and bruised? If we are all more aware of how to treat others then this can be avoided...
I want to do everything I can to help Ty function in this crazy world but I am terrified of people that will be in his path that don't care and that can potentially hurt him. We are currently surrounded by amazing people, our church family is so gracious and loving. Sunday when he pushed the two kids in the nursery, a friend of mine was there and it was her child that he pushed and she told me how she handled it and at first I felt terrible because he is so much bigger than the others and he does have potential to hurt someone but then I felt God's grace... how amazing is it that they weren't mad or demanding that he be removed? Yes it might just be a shove to some - and I'm not trying to make a big deal out of it but it kind of is a big deal. It's a big deal because there are so many people in this world not willing to understand and that just want to remove "the problem" as they did in that article about the little boy...but not here... he is safe and loved because of the kindness, patience and grace that flows so freely from our friends, family and church family.

We are currently trying to figure out what Ty needs to do at church, I know he is much to big for the nursery, and I'm not exactly sure if he is ready for the sunday school class and children's church??? I am to protective of him when it comes to things like this, I want him to experience life to its fullest but I know that he needs extra eyes, hands & a fast runner in case he decides to make a run for it or anything else.... so most likely we will be attempting children's church together :) I'll let you know how it goes ...

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment  :)

life is a zoo... be sure to feed the right animals

I know it's been a while since my last post, and I would like to say it's because we've been so busy and yadda yadda yadda ... but really, if I'm honest, it's because I haven't been in the mood to write. Now I'm not the type person that needs soft music and lit candles but I do need something to say and lately I haven't had the words.  Yes there is a lot going on in our world but I just haven't felt the need to share and at times I have felt that maybe it just wasn't all that important. (important to us yes ... but the rest of the world??? idk)

So all that to say that today I read a blog that some friends of mine shared and it opened my eyes to this adoption journey that they are on and have been on for quite some time. The blog was raw and real and I liked it! I love when people give you the honest truth, when you look at it and say - ouch, but so true! It opened my eyes to how ignorant I can be on other subjects because I put myself before others and because I put Ty before everything. Yes you read that correctly. Some of you might be thinking, well you should, he needs you too.  But it's not healthy to be consumed by the things of this world. Autism is a tricky thing, and it comes in so many forms, before I knew what autism really was - I didn't think it was that bad. There are many people, and I was one of them, that think "Autistic kids are geniuses, how cool to be so talented and not have to put forth any effort" Oh how wrong that is! It's so easy to live in this world and to see everyone while wearing goggles and ear plugs. We pick out what we want to see and hear and go about our business oblivious to the real world around us. As I read the blog on how to be a friend to those families on their adoption journey my eyes were opened to how tough that is. How challenging it is not only for my friends but for the child that will come into their home, into a new country?! How crazy we are, to think that once that child gets here, his or her life will be so simple and perfect. They still have so much to go through and so much to build. What if they don't sleep well at night? What if they miss their family and home country? How do you deal with that? How do we help them deal with that? I don't really know, and that's why I was glad that someone told their story, this blog told you how to be a friend, how to love and care for them in a way that would show them the love of God.

In the world of autism, life can and will get crazy. There are alot of days that I don't know what to do. There are lots of days that I doubt myself & decisions that we make? Is this the right school? Are we pushing him enough? Are we pushing him to much? (we just studied in Ephesians where the bible says not to provoke anger in children, does therapy provoke anger? if so what do I do? What does the bible say about autism?) Am I neglecting Tripp? Am I expecting to much out of Tripp? Am I too laid back and unorganized? Do I need to quit my job and home school my boys? Could I even do that? And then I get lost in this sea of questions, it becomes so overwhelming and stressful. I just want my boys to run and play and laugh. I love to hear them laugh! Ty loves to just bust out in a huge laugh and for everyone else to fall in. Its priceless.Why can't we just hide in a cave and laugh until Jesus comes back?!

Because we have purpose... to reach everyone we can and tell them about the Gospel! To share the love and compassion that was shown to us. So times will get hard and people will ask you questions that you don't want to answer and others will make comments about autism that don't understand. We will, for the sake of not wanting to be avoided like the plague, laugh off most comments and avoid hard questions, we smile and say we are great - even when we could fall apart at any moment. Because lets be honest that's what most people want to hear. They want to see the good results and not the everyday nitty gritty, screaming, crying, nervous laughter, breakdowns, doubts, and the frenzy of life. We have discovered reflexes that surely came from Jesus and not ourselves (I have no idea how we have been so lucky - neither of us have super powers but there are days that we could enter the Olympics with our cat like reflexes and sprints that come out of no where). I'm pretty sure Sam has hurdled multiple items in and around our house at speeds unknown to most of mankind. But it makes for a fun and exciting life! We laugh a lot, I get mad more than most, but it never fails that laughter overcomes so much for us.

I don't really know where I was going with all this, I guess just to be real with whats going on and to let y'all know that we appreciate and love all of you! And that, no this isn't easy but we aren't on this journey alone so thanks for being there!

I know I say this alot, but I want you to know that I don't think we have it bad, our life is great and there are so many things that we could be facing that we are not facing. I don't want to, in any way, paint a picture of poor pitiful us... we know we are blessed and have been blessed with two amazing boys... but I'm just spilling my guts on our everyday life... we love our family and especially the fact that we have days like these...

 the boys at a drive through zoo - priceless :

ty slapped the llama

tripp scared of the stuff giraffe