the joy of Christmas!

Christmas is by far the best time of the year. I love all of the smells, foods, lights, and most of all friends and family. My favorite thing to do is give gifts, and I absolutely love to find something that I know someone would like and then give it to them. Not because I want recognition or to be thanked but because I simply enjoy the look on their face - the smile or laugh that comes with it and the hugs or conversations that will come after that.
Last year Ty was not much into the gift opening part of Christmas and I had a feeling that he would love all of the paper tearing and toys this year! Well I was partly right, he did really well once we got something out of the box and he could play with it but he wasn't real big on sitting and opening a gift, he did play with the paper and try to eat it after everyone else opened their presents. So to each their own :)
Every gift Ty received for Christmas was perfectly suited to him, everyone was so thoughtful in finding something that he would like even if it was a toy that might not be "age appropriate" in others eyes, it was perfect for my little Ty. I have the best family and friends in the world!
Christmas is also a very busy time of year with lots of traveling for us. And traveling with my boys is not always easy. Sam was working Christmas Eve so we went to my dad's Friday night had Christmas with them and then Sam left for work the next morning and that afternoon we went to visit my cousins and then on to mamaw's for a meal that could feed half the roman army (that's my brothers words). I always feel like we stay long enough to eat, open gifts and then leave and I really wish we could stay longer. But the hour and a half ride home was waiting so we packed up shortly after dirty Santa and started home. I made it half way home when Ty woke up screaming. Needless to say we stopped to see Sam at the fire house to keep my sanity and then drove home around 9:30 or 10.
Being that Christmas day was on Sunday we went to Church that morning. We were asked to read and light a candle as a family during the service and I wanted Ty to participate so we kept him in church for the first time. Ty absolutely loved the singing and would get so excited every time we stood to sing. Once the music stopped and the preacher or music minister would speak/pray Ty would start to make some noise, not a scream but just his version of talking. I assume he was talking to God in his own way :) I would try to quit him some but part of me just wanted to let him say whatever it is he needed to say ... from the mouth of babes right!?
During the childrens story part of church we sang happy birthday Jesus and the kids showed a new toy to the congregation. So after the song was over Ty was so excited and started clapping, have I mentioned that he loves a crowd and he loves for people to clap ... typically he loves for people to clap for HIM, but clapping is a favorite activity no matter who it is for! So once everyone stopped clapping Ty kept going, he stood front and center in front of the pulpit and just kept clapping with a smile bigger than the state of Texas, his teeth shinning, his eyes squinting and slightly bouncing with excitement. He could have stood there all day I am sure but I swooped him up and took him to the nursery. So that's when I stop to think. Shouldn't we all do that. Shouldn't we all stop and just praise the Lord. I don't know for sure if that is what he was doing, but I like to think that God used him to open my eyes and say "this is how you do it". No worries just pure joy and excitement!

here are a few pics from Christmas ... Ty loved the lights :)

thanks for reading! hope yall enjoy! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

it's christmas!

Well I can't believe that another year has passed so quickly!? A friend of mine tells me that the days get longer and years get shorter as our kids grow up; and that is so true!
It is less than a week before christmas and I have one more present to buy but I have not put up my christmas tree??? Yes I know that I need to do it; but I just haven't made the time to make it happen?! Who knows maybe I will do it today :). ok on to the good stuff...
Ty has been doing really well! The Children's Center sent home his AAC device (it's a device that speaks for him when he touches the icons of what he wants, for example "want" "need" "cookie" "more" "drink" "ball" etc). I thought it would be simple to use at home, but I keep forgetting that we have it? He does really well with this device and will even put together 3 word phrases like "want more cookie" and he just gets so excited when we give him the cookie. It's like he knows that we finally have a way for him to communicate those words that he might not be able to sign or say, and sometimes the words that he knows how to say and sign but at times he just can't get them out. Now there are times when he just won't say them and he will give you this adorable look as if to say "isnt this enough" but you have to fight past wanting to give in and make him talk. No, it's not easy but if you give in once then he knows that there's another option - and we would much rather pull those words out of him then to let him slip by with an adorable smile. right?! - thats what I keep telling myself...
so on to my little Tripp for a minute..
Tripp was in our kids Christmas program at church and stole the show! haha we all have to say that right? But really he did a great job, he knew the motions and words to almost all of the songs and only almost fell off the stage once :) so that was great for him! Because the last time they sang in church he stood up closed his eyes and then put his hands over his face?! so we have come a long way! Now all during the last few months of practicing these songs I wanted so badly to give Ty a chance to sing in the program, I know he likes music and he loves to dance (rock from one foot to the other and wiggle, its super cute) and he is not afraid of crowds at all. But I didnt want him to be a distraction to the other kids or to run up and down the isles laughing and jumping until he reaches the back door so he can open and close it. Now I am not saying that there werent kids on stage that were distractions, Tripp was one of them. But I have my reasons for waiting... they seem trivial now that I look back on it all but I guess I am just a bit more protective of Ty when it comes to stuff like that? I am not embarrassed or ashamed but I am quick to anger and until I am able to harness that I think it was best for me to let him sit this one out. Not that anyone would have said or done anything to my little man at church but I guess there is just always that "what if" in my mind... and it takes me a little longer to let go and let him do what other kids his age are doing. So maybe next year? ...That will be my plan..
When we got home we replayed the video from the program and Ty ran and jumped in my lap so he could see the computer screen and started shaking his shoulders and humming and then he would jump down and do his little happy dance and then repeat the cycle... it was awesome! and thats what made me think - maybe he was ready and I just need to not worry...

Ty has been doing some major oral sensory seeking over the last few weeks and I couldnt quite put my finger on why - but we have been without the pabby for a while and thats got to be why he is seeking so much! I've been trying to replace it with a vibrating mouth toy and so far that has worked but I am hoping that we will be able completely replace his shirt chewing with this toy?! we will see :)

Ty's Tshirts have taken off! and I cant thank you all enough for your love and support! you are all angels in our eyes!!

quotes:
I read a few quotes that I thought I would share

"I know of nobody who is purely autistic, or purely neurotypical. Even God has some autistic moments, which is why the planets spin.”
— Jerry Newport

“Autistics are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It’s that you’re destroying the peg.”
— Paul Collins

“This is what we know, when you tell us of your fondest hopes and dreams for us: that your greatest wish is that one day we will cease to be, and strangers you can love will move in behind our faces.”

-Jim Sinclair, “Don’t Mourn For Us”

these speak volumes! sometimes we just need to step back and think ... am I helping or hurting? Is this just a difference of opinion or is this something that will help him function? My desires are not that Ty will be normal but that he will be able to be the best at whatever it is he wants to be... communication is the key right now... and we just want to provide him with everything he needs to do that.

i know this was a pretty random post ... but i had different things that i wanted to share ... so i hope you all enjoy! thanks for reading!

therapy therapy therapy!

We have lots of therapy news ... first off sorry for my delay in posting! and here we go ...we had an awesome weekend after thanksgiving with Maria (our ABA friend from FL). Ty slept 12 hours in his own bed the first night she stayed with us, he was worn out from sessions and traveling I think. 12 hours! If you dont know, this is amazing :) especially the fact that he slept in his own bed. Now he hasn't done that again but at least I know it is possible! He did really well all weekend in his sessions and didn't really have any melt downs (his melt downs have never been real bad but the fact that they are even less than typical is great!). He is babbling alot more and has some new sounds "V" and "F" so that comes to a total of 6 sounds! Not olny is he babbling but he is also mimicking sounds and humming to songs. I think he has probably been doing this longer than I was aware of him doing it bc I just assumed he was marching to his own beat when in reality he was singing along but I was to deep in his world to see it - if that makes any since?! We also are going to cut back on some of his vitamins from the baton rouge dr and get a second opinion. If you want to know more about my opinion on this give me a call or send me a message... but there is way to much to get bogged down on his blog:). besides we need to focus on my little man!
Tripp has been an amazing little brother, he is constantly cheering for Ty & pointing out things I miss. For example Ty said ball & I didn't hear it so Tripp came running & cheering for Ty saying 'Ty said ball momma!!! TY SAID BALL! YAY TY TY' as he's clapping & patting Ty on the back which gets ty excited & then he claps for himself; ). I thought that we would have more jealous spouts from Tripp but he rarely gets jealous and is almost always willing & ready to help. Ty lights up when they play together & even tho they are only 2&3 their bond is definitely one of a kind, Tripp is always thinking of Ty in all the little things, it just blows my mind.
Ty has been at the childrens center since September & time has flown by! He had the most amazing teacher & group of therapists and we have learned how to use different techniques to help Ty walk and hold our hands and not run away from us & he is now walking with us to therapy! (he still has his moments where he tries to run but not as often). He also does really well with his shoe box tasks - these are activities that are in boxes & are meant to help him learn left to right work patterns, patience, & lots of fine motor skills. He started out struggling with these and now he just breezes right through. It's amazing the things they can get him to do! One of their goals has been to eventually move him into a class with other kids and they are going to start that transition within the next 2 weeks. I'm sad & excited at the same time bc he had such an amazing teacher & group working with him and they have come so far ... I Know he needs new things & challenges but they were just perfect, so pray that he continues to grow and learn in his transition.
Other things that we are doing at home: we have a fenced in back yard & we are going to start home learning skills (putting up spoons, fixing drinks, helping with laundry, etc) so we will see how it goes!?

Outings
We have been getting out much more with Ty & he has been doing really well! Sometimes I feel like people stare at us bc Ty gets very vocal a lot of times, not bc he's unhappy but bc he likes to yell...and some days I ignore the looks, but other days I would like to yank their smirks off their faces... And id like to tell them - that my child does not lack discipline but rather enjoys every minute of every day so back off....now if you would like to join us please do and Ty will most likely give you a hug if our buggy gets to close but if you can't handle it keep your smirks and comments to yourself...I know lots of people think we can't handle our kids but every screaming child in the store could just be full of life or overwhelmed by sensory issues it doesn't mean they should be left at home...sorry to get on that soap box...anyway Ty has hugged random old lady's at target and walmart and few TRU employees, he gets so excited when we walk in the doors of any store! (I think bc they open and close automatically ) it's as if we are walking into Disney no matter where we go...

Well I have rambled plenty tonight thanks for reading!

words

Oh how I wish I could give Ty my words & I would remain silent the rest of my days on this earth!?...I heard a praise song on the radio that I have heard at least 1000 times but it spoke so clearly to my heart "the deaf will hear the dumb Will speak & the dead will rise again".Needless to say I was almost brought to tears, every person that can't speak on this earth will speak one day & what better words could be spoken than to praise our Creator! Now don't get me wrong I still want him to talk & we will continue his therapy but if God allows this to remain a struggle for Ty, I know that one day he will communicate without any hesitation or frustrations...I just have to be OK with that right now...

I've always heard "choose your words" and I don't always abide by this...there are some days that I should probly remain silent but I don't!? And then there are times that I think others should remain silent & they speak their mind for all to hear...one thing that has started to catch my attention is the amount of people that say "so & so is weird, or different or special, or just flat out 'somethings wrong with him/her" and yes I Have said these things. But I'm starting to realize That one day, if not already, someone will say that about Ty. Now I don't think that these are words That are always meant to be harmful. But like anything, if said at the wrong time it can strike a nerve. Which makes me wonder how many times have I talked about a child or an adult that had autism, or maybe they just had some sensory issues that made them seem to be odd to the public eye? Well my eyes are wide open now...that was somebody's child. Before Ty I wouldn't know how to pic up on the difference between sensory needs that need to be met & a disorder (which more than likely go hand and hand most of the time, but I'm new at this so don't take my word on that). So now when I look at children who the public would call different I don't see a lable but I do see a need. And why is that so different from the rest of the world? Everyone has needs, some might not be able to express theirs as well as others but is it really enough to be considered an out cast? Besides we are called to love & what better way to show this world we are different than to love those that don't fit this mold we create in our minds? Whose to say that Ty isn't the normal one and the rest of us are the odd balls? ;)
I don't know if this makes much since but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say... Love to you all & thanks for reading!

Autism is a challenge not a tragedy

I was researching some silly shirts & autism awareness sites when I came across a blog of an autistic adult ... Here's an excerpt about how we should view autism:

"But this is where awareness campaigns come in. Rather than using them to explain to people how horrible it is to have a child with autism, why don't we use them to explain to people what autism is like, how we live and how we have fun, how we solve problems, how we interact? Why not show people that autism is not a tragedy simply by giving them a realistic picture of what autism is like--the good, the bad, the everyday people who, like any human being, have problems but yet have the potential for a happy, worthwhile life?

Yes, autism can cause problems. It can be difficult sometimes. Things take longer to learn; things take longer to do; maybe we need more help than most people need. But if we can just explain to the everyday people who have grown up with cultural prejudice that isn't even their fault--if we can induce them to challenge the idea that disability is naturally, obviously tragic--then we'll have won a great Victory" http://chaoticidealism.livejournal.com/89173.html#cutid1

Wow... How true it is that we are so selfish to think that any disability reduces someone's value... Yes I know that everyone will say "I don't think that" but even having pity for someone with a disability(any disability)bc their life isn't like yours, or thinking of all the "normal/typical" things that he/she might not experience is the same to me. Yes, life will be different for anyone with a disability & different for the family too but it doesn't mean it's worse.
I'm not saying I'm perfect & that I've never thought - "once we get passed this, then we can_____"... But maybe I need to be more focussed on living life like Ty wants to live it...yes I am going to continue his treatments & therapy but maybe my goals should focus more on what he would want instead of what I want or what's "normal" I mean let's face it - I'm not normal ;)
who said that God's plan for Ty is limited to a "recovery" from autism...maybe God's plan for Ty is exactly that - to experience this world in a way most of us can't - full of life, love, easy to forgive & no regrets...fearless! To soak up every aspect of everything we take for granted...Ty likes to put rocks in his mouth - he never eats them but just gets his tongue on it and then puts it down - I just assume that a rock isn't for eating, but Ty will test each one to make sure...maybe he's on to something...maybe we should admire the details of this world...right down to the taste of a rock?!

Thanks for reading....if you get a chance to read that other blog it's really good & has changed my view on things...

New places ...

Well I can't express how excited I am at this moment! Ty has been accepted to The Children's Center at The University of Southern Mississippi! This is a place that I did not know existed until this year and I put Ty on the waiting list and it seems like in just moments he was in (it took a month or two - and I know that is really fast but it seemed like it would never come... but now that we are here it seems like the time just flew by).
I kept in touch with one of the therapists at the Children's Center via email and she was very sweet and willing to answer all of my questions - not only about their center but also about Ty's therapy in general and she gave me insight and advice on different things and I was just yearning for the day that he could have a chance to work with this amazing group of people. People who genuinely care about my child and his well-being without even meeting him?! People who are willing to communicate with you about therapy for a child that they were not treating - really shows me that they are in this business for the right reasons.

So when I got the call that they wanted to evaluate Ty and she asked "when would be a good day & time" all I could say was "anyday, anytime, anywhere" (for those football fans you get this) but this really was my exact response :) So last friday Ty and I made a trip to USM; after & during his eval the coordinator came in to let me know how things worked, asked if I was ok with everything & that he would be starting Tuesday (which was yesterday) and I could barely sit in my seat, I wanted to jump up and hug the lady but I didn't want her to think I was crazy so I just said "ok great" as if I knew what was going on... but the truth is I didnt. I was under the impression that it was just an eval and then we would go from there... and part of me wanted to think it would be that easy but there was still a little doubt in the back of my mind, and I thought there was still a chance that they would have wait to place him. Come to find out - they created a group for Ty and another child.  Did they already have this in the works? Bc after their summer evals I was told that he would remain on the waiting list (which I was fine with) and then I started to wonder if my connections made an impression and thats why he got in... or maybe they fell in love with Ty from the picture I showed them? maybe they decided that since they were already emailing me then why not work with my son??? whatever the reason I will never know ... but the bible says "i know the plans i have for you says the Lord..." - yes Lord you do - and I see that now ... but i sure haven't always seen that.... and some days I still wonder.... but on that day... there was no doubt that I knew God had a plan!

So now what - well he had his first day of therapy yesterday, and that was fun! well it was fun for me and Ty is still learning who these people are and what they expect from him - but it was fun to watch him test his new therapists. They dont know what all he can do so as I am watching therapy behind a 2way mirror(which I love, bc the other therapy places I just sat in the hall at school and waited for him to come out) I laugh alot bc at first they were helping him sign "more" bc they didnt know he could say and sign more - I wish I had a camera, bc his face was priceless! the therapists asks him "more?" and grabs his little hands and helps him sign... and he just had this evil grin as if he is thinking "oh you dont know i know how to do this?!"
It's hard to sit behind a glass and watch someone require something of your son and him fuss and scream but still know that it is good for him. And to let Ty and his therapists get use to each other... I know they know what to do and how to handle him but part of me wants to be in there... but i'm sure the best thing is that they do it their way. right?
So when therapy was over- he was worn slap out, but in a good way - oh and he also got to go outside! which was awesome! And I told his teacher everything I knew to tell her and she did the same .... I am real excited to see where this takes us... I know he will soar like an EAGLE!

two year old therapist and an iPad

Well I am not completely surprised but my little Tripp has turned himself into a therapist :). I am amazed at how quick kids can learn! In the past week Tripp has been re-enforcing any requests that I give Ty - for example; when we are swinging in the living room and I ask Ty to tell me "ma ma more" and I will push him higher; Tripp looks at Ty and does the 'sign' for 'more' and then says "ma ma moore Ty Ty" and grins real big waiting for his reply?! Ty looked at Tripp and then said and signed "more" and then Tripp clapped and Ty clapped and we all laughed and gave him lots of tickles and praise!

the iPad
So I purchased an iPad for Ty. I'm sure you are thinking "riiiiight Mandy" but really the iPad's main goal is to assist Ty in his therapy and language development and secondly it is a tool to calm and relax Ty because there are so many apps that meet his sensory needs which in turn calms him and balances his little world. Thirdly it belongs to Tripp and boy has he learned alot in the last couple of days! There is an app where a baby shows you sign language and this is Tripp's favorite app - he walked in the kitchen the other day and said & signed "stop momma" then giggled and ran back in the other room ... so of course I laughed not because of what he said but because most of the apps and videos the boys watch have British accents(bc we watch lots of claymation and apparently thats a British specialty) which means that Tripp mimics the accent on certain things and that was one of them - So if you can just imagine my little Mississippi boy in his rubber boots with his mis-matched shorts and shirt that he put on himself, camouflaged baseball cap and sunglasses (he wasnt going anywhere he just likes to dress himself and to be fully dressed at home???) running in the kitchen and signing&saying "stop momma" with a British/country twang.... ahhhh it still cracks me up!? ok back on track...
Well I walked back into the room after he comes to tell me that and he was assisting Ty on the iPad. He would get right next to Ty and put his little hands right on top of Ty's and help him tap the picture or choose words... he would maneuver through the different apps that they both liked and then once the app started playing he would show Ty what to do and then he would help him do it?! I'm standing there thinking "ok first of all Tripp has used the iPad twice and knows how to get where he wants to go and second Wow ... I mean Wow, my two year old knows how to help his brother"
 Now I dont want to mislead anyone, they are not always so willing to work and play together! And Tripp didnt sit with Ty for an hour and show him flash cards or work puzzles. The little bit of time that they both played and tapped on the screen could have been 5 or 10 minutes, but it felt like our little world just stopped and we marinated in that moment! Thats probably not an accurate description but its the best I can come up with :)  There are lots of programs that I am still looking into for Ty with the iPad but I am so excited about where this will take him! And I couldnt have done it without the help of our parents - they are all so good to us!

new friends
I met a new family this week who also has a 3 year old son that is very similar to Ty. The mom is so sweet and the little boy reminds me so much of Ty and he is sooo handsome! It amazes me how God puts people in your life when you need them - I didnt know that I needed to talk to someone that is on this same road that we are on but it felt so good to talk to her and to know that she understood everything we were doing! She also has a trampoline in their house too (they are actually on their second one) and she said she was going home to tell her husband to find a stud to hang a swing from indoors lol! There was so much we talked about in such a short period of time and I could have gone on all night comparing stories. We are both curious about the same things and looking into new therapies to see if it is something that will benefit our kids.
I knew that other people were going through similar if not worse situations ...but to meet someone face to face and discuss things was just amazing...
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. - Galations 6:2

i think i've rambled on enough ...
thanks for reading