May update...

Random words
Ty has done alot this month! We were leaving church one wednesday night and as we are pulling out of the parking lot I hear Ty say "ba...ba... bye" of course I stop and praise him until he giggles and then Tripp says "bye bye momma"  waiting for my acknowledgement so I praise him too until he giggles and then we head home. Then we were leaving "Granna's house" and Tripp was crying bc he wanted to go back to Granna's house and I heard Ty say "naa  naa" which I assumed to mean Granna! And last weekend at my parents house Dad said that Ty said "papaw"(he has been using his p's alot here lately, he will just run around the house making the "p" noise)! That is a lot of purposeful talking for my not so verbal child :)  and one happy momma!

new places
I have just switched the boys to a new daycare and Ty's therapy schedule is changing for the summer time so there is a lot of adjusting going on in our little world. This is not always an easy task, Ty typically handles new things well (which is not typical autism) but arranging mine and Sam's schedules around the new times is a challange and teaching new people how to help Ty function in a daily routine is definately not easy. I dont want to come across as overbearing but sometimes I feel like I should go to the daycare/therapy or whatever for a day and show them how we function. (yes i know that sounds silly) but really, I can tell someone(teacher, babysitter, daycare worker, etc) how to take care of Ty until I am blue in the face, I can give them all my little tips and tricks on what works at home... But until they watch us play, feed, encourage, rock to sleep, change a diaper, etc.... I dont think they really understand what I am talking about. I will almost always get a nod and smile, and then they will say "we'll call you if we need anything and he will be fine" ... so then I start to wonder/worry about how they are doing today. I'm sure Tripp has adjusted fine and will have them eating out of his hand by the end of the day - and I imagine Ty throwing his food on the floor, loving running outside but screaming when they had to come in, stealing crayons and toys from his class mates, climbing on the tables and chairs, slamming any cabinet he can find, crying everytime a door opens and he cant play with it and fighting whoever it is that tried to make him take a nap and I see him doing alot of crys with a but bounce (bc thats what he does when he gets mad)... so I kinda dread going in the afternoon to get them (not bc I dont want to pick up my kids but bc i dont want them to have that "pitty" face; the face that says "oh what have we gotten ourselves into" or the one that says "you poor thing")
What I want to do is have a Ty day.... where they can see him in his happy place and watch me redirect him from potential "fit" starters into fun play times and how to get him to eat properly and how to keep him happy for most of the day. Granted you cant please all the kids in a daycare, this I know, but I feel like I try to give extra knowledge about my awesome son and its rejected as if this is something that they already know? So when I call to check on him and he didnt eat well and they tell me he is fine but just got mad when they had to come inside...then i start to worry again, bc maybe he isnt adjusting like I thought he would? are they telling me everything? do i need to leave work and go check on him? But I cant just sit around and worry all day, and i cant just leave work every hour to make sure they're ok, I do have a job to do and besides that the bible tells us not to worry right!? doesnt mean its easy....

verse for the month
James 1:2
consider it pure joy my brothers when you face trials of any kind

this has always been a favorite verse of mine, and i was having a really bad day when i heard this verse on the radio... and then i thought - "pure joy" really? how is that possible? i started thinking about all the people who have been through storms and tragedies recently. How can you have pure joy during trials? But i guess if you really think about it Joy is different from happy go lucky - I think Joy is a deeper emotion that is kind of like Hope ... it gets you through bc you know what is waiting on the other side.... its not necessarily a smile or laugh its much more than that...

well i think i've rambled on enough - thanks for reading and feel free to comment :)

easter

I've always loved holiday get together with the family. Lots of laughs, love and fun. As a kid it was always fun and exciting to get together with my cousins! We spent most of our Easter holidays with Dad's side of the family. We played in the woods a lot during our annual Easter get together, we rode 4-wheelers (and wrecked 4-wheelers), played in a giant fort that had a draw bridge (which was a 2x6 connected to a rope and strung through a pulley) that was typically controlled by the boys (very safe lol), and most importantly we hunted Easter eggs!

As my boys are getting older I am debating on which traditions to teach them; I feel like we teach our kids to want and "need" more than what is necessary. Most of the time it’s because I don’t want them to feel left out, I mean after all little johnny got an Easter basket so why would I go through the process of explaining to them that the Easter bunny is fake and bla bla bla... just spend the $10 and get the basket!? Right? Well that’s where I’m stuck.

We hunted Easter eggs this year and Tripp had a blast! He ran past every egg in the field until he realized he should start collecting them in his bucket?! lol It was fun to watch them run around and shake the eggs to see which one they wanted to keep, and to hear my niece sweetly tell Tripp "hey Tripp, put them in my bucket" lol!

As we got ready for the hunt; I asked Sam to keep an eye on Ty so I could take pictures (we tag team like this often). I gave him Ty's basket hoping that Ty would see the eggs and run to them (bc he loves to put things in buckets and then dump them out). As the madness ensued of chasing and collecting eggs I saw Ty – he found one egg and decided to go back and play in the rocks. I haven’t figured out if it’s the sound, texture or taste of the rocks that he loves so much, but he loves rocks! As I was watching Sam chase Ty around the yard and redirect his attention ; sometimes Ty would fuss and throw himself on the ground, but other times he would grin real big and run away waiting for Sam to follow; and that’s when I was reminded that it’s ok … who cares if he hunts Easter eggs? Look at how much fun he is having, searching for doors, jumping off the porch, climbing on the picnic table, running up and down the rock path in front of lolly’s house and dumping out the eggs once everyone else collected them!? That’s when I started to ask myself that question – should I even teach them about the Easter bunny? I know I’ll have to explain why there’s a grown man/women dressed up like a rabbit… but should I teach them about the magic bunny that comes and leaves them a basket? After all Easter is about Jesus and not a rabbit?

Ty said “pabby”!!!

I don’t remember what night it was but one night this week Ty said “my pabby”(aka. Bink, pacifier). We were playing in the bed with the boys (they like to be chased and then climb on the bed and jump off onto a pile of pillows; and of course tickled) and Sam took ty’s pabby and making him come get it from him. That’s when Ty said in a whisper “my papab” … Sam looked at me “he just said my pabby!?” And of course Ty got extra praise and tickles and just went about his business. Which makes me wonder how many things he can say but just won’t? Or how many things he tries to say but the words just won’t form? It was an awesome moment nonetheless!

my first post

the reason i decided to start a blog was because of a note i wrote on facebook - the response was overwhelming and i had a request to start documenting this journey in a blog .... i probably wont post weekly or even monthly but i will try to keep those that follow up-to-date on ty and his journey with autism (and some stories of tripp too) ... also i have discovered, that it does me good to share these thoughts that are in my head
as you can probably tell already i am not a grammar person, so i will just go ahead and appologize to those of you who are reading this and wishing i would capitalize and punctuate properly :) maybe i will get better as i go...
i wasnt sure how to start this blog so i will begin with the post i shared on facebook:

if you dont already know, my 3 year old son ty has been diagnosed with autism (or pddnos, which is on the autism spectrum)

before you read this, i want you to know that i am not trying to say that my life is more difficult than yours or am i saying that this is some life threatening illness, there are so many childhood diseases or handicaps that are much worse... just sharing my thoughts on our life....

the puzzle piece is a symbol for autism awareness. many people say that this represents a puzzling condition or handicap that has captured their child and that it also represents how they(autistic kids/adults) dont "fit in" .... but recently i have decided to disagree with this statement. i know that it is obvious that life by itself is challenging; that life with autism(or any developmental disorder) is different and hard to understand or grasp for everyone involved. but over the last year and a half i have researched, read lots of articles and even a few books(yes i read books) about autism and sensory disorders... but this week i think ive discovered that maybe i am looking at this wrong. maybe its not that Ty is missing something (like a lost puzzle piece) ... maybe he is the puzzle piece that was missing from our lives. as a parent you do your best to provide everything you can for your child; argue with the insurance company, health care providers, and try your best to read the therapists working with your son; so that you leave no stone unturned - you do your best to put all the pieces together and try to find whats missing. you ask yourself questions; why cant i get him to eat properly, talk, listen, obey, and just enjoy life. then you search for answers. but what if he is the answer... what if nothings missing....

john 9:1-3 1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

i would insert autism for blindness in this case....

Ty is autistic so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

as hard as that is for me to accept; it is true.

i have learned extreme patients (tho not always displayed)

i am willing to give up more than i ever thought i could

and i have to rely on God to get me through the day

now i know that this is no life threatening condition and i almost feel silly for even feeling this way.but life is never what you planned... and when you pray for God to do something good with your life. it will come in ways that you dont expect.
now i dont always feel like God is on my side, and i have questioned many times "why" ... why does ty have to be challenged by this, why does he have to be frustrated by the inability to communicate, when there are so many kids out there that dont. and at first i was mad, and at times i still get mad. and i worry about what i will do when they get older and start to really get involved in different groups and have their own opinions - what will i do when someone makes fun of him, or looks at him or me with a strange look bc he threw a fit that i cant always stop.. and most will just assume i have an out of control child that is not diciplined, or that needs to be kept at home.... i imagine that i will loose my temper and end up on the headlines of the local newspaper.... but i pray that that time never comes... i pray that parents educate their children to love and be loved... to be understanding and compassionate to everyone they meet ....

because of these thougths and because i like to keep things simple ... we stay home alot ... and only go on very quick trips in and out of the store for diapers or milk....and ty is very happy and content at home...our home is our safe haven, everything is locked and put away so that ty can just have the run of the house. tripp will challenge his authority on that at times :) but when we are home, there arent as many worries, we play, laugh, jump, and swing like most families.... and tripp has been a huge help with ty; bc they are so close in age - ty is able to learn from tripp, he can see how tripp communicates and gets what he asks for and it challenges ty to do the same. and they love each other, ty is a very social child bc of tripp - he still likes to be by himself at times and doesnt always play well with others, but he attempts to play in his own way - ty likes to be chased so he typically will take tripp's toy and run with it, looking over his shoulder to see if tripp is coming... and even though tripp does not understand this we encourage him to chase ty and give him hugs when he catches him.... now im not encouraging ty to steel but who ever said that you had to play with a "truck by rolling it on the ground" maybe in his mind it is like a team flag that he has captured and is waiting to be caught ??? who knows what he is really thinking ... but i seem to think these kind of things encourage him to interact with us and others so thats what we do.ty has overcome alot in the last year and is slowly but surely learning new things and hopefully on his way to communicating with us!i know that God has given me two very unique and amazing little boys and they are both beautiful in my eyes - Ty has taught me more in the last year than i could have learned in a lifetime and i know that there is still more to learn .... and tripp is going to be an amazing brother and friend bc of his ability to know, love and communicate with ty in a way that sam and i cant. i debated for a while before posting this on facebook, but i finally did ... and i hope it gives you a little insight on life and kids like ty...