Priorities....

I just started reading a book about a girl who leaves the US to go to Uganda for a 3 week trip and then at 19 decides to move to Uganda for good, adopts some of the children and starts a nonprofit to provide basic needs for anyone who crosses her path but mainly children. Her main objective is to share the love and grace of God in an impoverished village and country. (Thats a very condensed version of what ive read so far) What does this have to do with Ty and his journey? Well I'm getting there ... Let me give a quick run down .... When I was 19 I wanted to go to Africa, I knew that God had placed that desire on my heart and it was strong! (But I didn't go, for various reasons) After reading the first 8 chapters of this book, I am broken, I wish I had been able to make a trip to Africa when I was younger. But as I mom I now understand the concerns my parents had and why they were reluctant to push this desire of mine. So now, at 31, I will be taking a two week trip to Uganda with some amazing people to help out in some impoverished places this December. I am excited, nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. I'm not scared or nervous for myself but because I will be miles away from my sweet boys and awesome husband. As I was reading the first few chapters of this book I realized that had I gone to Africa when I wanted to, I probably wouldn't be where I am today, so I am thankful that I was made to wait (something I'm not good at) or I most likely had these two amazing boys that have changed my life ... The more I read (Cody you were right I couldn't put it down) the more I was broken and the more I realized that I am a selfish person who has some messed up priorities. I still question God on Ty's communication issues and I pray constantly for him to talk. I feel so selfish when there are kids, of all ages, who know that if they don't get simple medications, vitamins and meals then there won't be a tomorrow - kids who are thankful for a stranger who plays with them and feeds them and takes care of their very basic needs because no one else can or will. And I am crying over a very healthy boy who only lacks the ability to speak clearly and has a few other sensory issues??? We have a home and an over abundance of clothes & food. My boys get a bath every night and have more toys than some kids could want and at the onset of any minor illness we are treated and back to normal within a few hours and at the most a couple of days. We have family and friends who love and support us and on top of that, I have a really good job. So how can I sit in the comfort of my home with my healthy boys and complain or question God? God is good and He has a plan and I need to get my priorities in check so I can follow Him in every area of my life and so I can teach my boys to do the same ...

Autism is a challenge but it's not life threatening (not in our case anyway) and I want to provide Ty with what he needs and with what can help him without my selfishness and to focus on Gods will for his life and His will for our family and to reach out to those around us to show them the amazing love and grace of Jesus! But if I'm bogged down in "me" then how in the world can I help anyone else? How can I show them the love of Jesus? I think autism awareness is good but just like anything else... If it consumes you then what is it really about? Yes talking about autism and teaching others how to interact with Ty and taking Ty to therapy and providing him with all the things he needs are all amazing things, but if I put them before God and if I let them consume who I am, then what have I accomplished?

So how do I balance all of this? How do I not go overboard with my desires for my kids to have a good education? How do I give them what they need without creating selfishness? How do I balance an IEP meeting with Gods will? I don't know yet...but I'll let you know when I find out. I'm gonna start by laying it at the feet of Jesus... He has had a pattern lately of teaching me to let go of things .... And to be patient.


I hope all this makes since to you, bc it does in my head :). thanks for reading!

The name of the book is "kisses from Katie" and she also has a blog www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com
Everyone should read this book ;)