a little background

hi, my name is mandy and I have two amazing little boys. My oldest son, Ty, has been diagnosed with autism (which is what you will read most about in this blog); I also have Tripp, who is an amazing little brother to Ty (who you will also hear alot about). I was encouraged to start this blog to document our journey through life and life with autism... my world has been rocked in last few years and i have responded in good ways and bad ... but Jesus has gotten me through all of it...

i hope i can be an encouragement to you, and for the friends and family that will read this - maybe this will keep you posted indepth on what Ty is learning! :) and the adventures of Tripp too

thank you for reading, and if you have any questions, comments or smart remarks; feel free to post them.

Monday, April 9, 2012

sometimes it's best to be vague

I received an email from a friend of mine entitled "free stress seminar" ... have I mentioned that I love clever emails and sayings? Well I do!
OK so the email starts off telling a story of a lady teaching a stress seminar and she is holding a glass of water and everyone in the audience is waiting for her to ask the question "is the glass half empty or full?!" and she throws the curve ball asking "How much does this glass weigh"? And then goes on to explain that no matter the weight; if you hold that same glass of water all day you will eventually get an ache and the longer you hold it the more the pain/ache will increase until you can't bare to hold that small glass of water.  So the moral of the story is to put the glass down, rest. Don't carry all your burdens all of the time. That is what the bible says right?! *slap* (in my face)

Then the email lists lots of clever sayings and the one that stuck out to me the most was:

"If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague" I LOVE THIS!

I definitely think in my world it is best to be vague most of the time! It's not that I can't be kind, it's just that there are so many times that I begin to talk to people and realize halfway through the conversation that I have just spilled my guts without knowing it about life/autism... and I can see in their eyes that they either have no idea what I'm talking about or they would have rather I just said "we are good thanks for asking". You are probably thinking that I have just contradicted myself with the whole "share your burdens" and "be vague" motto's. But I think they can go hand in hand. I have some pretty amazing friends that I will share details of my life with ... but for the most part I think the rest of the world wants me to be vague.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

life lessons and awareness

Well, it has been almost a year since I started this blogging journey and I have learned a lot!
1. I never really knew that I had so much to say...and that so many would be willing to keep up with us
2. I can't fix everything, and usually the un-fixable things are my biggest life lessons
3. There's not a parenting book on the market or a blog on the web that can tell us how to raise our boys, only prayers and Scripture will truly show us the way.
4. Everyone has challenges in their lives, its how we react to them that will inspire, encourage, discourage or create regrets...and these are daily choices. The small things will lead to big things,but our attitude will determine the outcome of each situation.
5. A girls night out heals the soul! I absolutely love each and every one of you! :) (you know who you are haha)

Light it up Blue!
This month is autism awareness, and I don't really know what to do with that. I encouraged everyone to wear blue on the 2nd. And I can't tell you how awesome it is when I see someone in a Ty t-shirt or for someone to post that they wore blue in honor of my little guy! But I feel like I should do more and at the same time I feel like I shouldn't do anything at all. Warning: you're about to get deep into my thoughts here! Yes I think awareness is a great thing, and that there are so many people that need to learn about autism and how to teach their child to function in this difficult world and how to be compassionate of others. But the other part of me says, how selfish am I to want people to stop what they're doing and focus on my world, because honestly that's what we're doing, right? The more I think about autism and the awareness that goes with it, the more selfish I feel.... I love that we have such an amazing support group in our church, family, and friends but how can I ask everyone to ignore their life and look at mine, and not even mine but Ty's. The deeper we get into autism the more I find autism in everyone I meet. Everyone has some sensory issue, quirk or OCD issue that makes them unique but the difference is most people can control it in public so that they will be socially accepted. It's those people that can't that become socially awkward or labeled with autism. No I'm not a DR and I am not trying to discount anyone with a serious condition or lesson awareness on autism. But I just know for myself if I can experience something then I can understand it and maybe if we all look at ourselves then we will begin to understand autism a little bit better? Just think of that one thing that drives you absolutely nuts for example nails on a chalk board, a fork scraping a plate, high pitched buzzing, counting to a certain number before you are satisfied, rearranging a room/cabinet/counter, a routine in the morning, etc.
Then multiply the anxiety/determination/annoyance by 100 and I think we will begin to understand why anyone affected by autism has a hard time focusing. If you're morning routine is messed up it might throw you off that morning but you can jump back on track. The nails on a chalk board makes us squirm but we don't cover our ears and shake our heads. However, if it was 100 nails on a chalkboard I'm sure we all would do just that.
I don't really know where I was going with this, just my thoughts on awareness month :)

Ok on to my boys:
  • Ty is learning to use the potty thanks to the iPad and our friend Maria!
  • He is becoming very vocal, lots of words that start with B,V,F & M's - which can be hard to determine at times but I'm glad he's trying!
  • He is understanding what we say more and more - for example, he absolutely loves angry birds. He came up to me outside while Carla and I were getting ready to take pictures and asked me for "bir" aka "birds"(angry birds) I said "No, Ty we are going to play outside right now" so he slowly lays down on the ground and whimpers, and then peaks out of one eye to see if I'm watching. Then he gets up and asks again "bir, bir" and again I say "no lets play outside" and he slowly lays down on his back whimpering and peaking out of the corner of his eye to see if we are watching. ( side note: When he does this we are suppose to ignore him so that he doesn't learn that screaming and throwing fits gets him what he wants) And Carla said "he really knows what your saying". I love when other people recognize his greatness! :) not that I don't know that he is awesome but there are times that I think maybe I am imagining this or that ... so it's good to have someone that doesn't see him often still recognize what we see daily ... if that makes any since?
  • Tripp is still a daddy's boy and an amazing little bro to Ty - sometimes he thinks he is an adult but all in all he is pretty awesome little kid :)
Well I think I have rambled on enough! thank you so much for reading and loving on my boys! lets light it up blue!!! :)