a little background

hi, my name is mandy and I have two amazing little boys. My oldest son, Ty, has been diagnosed with autism (which is what you will read most about in this blog); I also have Tripp, who is an amazing little brother to Ty (who you will also hear alot about). I was encouraged to start this blog to document our journey through life and life with autism... my world has been rocked in last few years and i have responded in good ways and bad ... but Jesus has gotten me through all of it...





i hope i can be an encouragement to you, and for the friends and family that will read this - maybe this will keep you posted indepth on what Ty is learning! :) and the adventures of Tripp too





thank you for reading, and if you have any questions, comments or smart remarks; feel free to post them.



Wednesday, October 1, 2014

A not so new confession...

Let's just get down to it. What do I "covet" most? What am I jealous of?
Kids that can talk, the ones that are 6 years old and able to speak with ease, and read and write and communicate with the world!
I mean I know that Tripp can do all of these things and I've never really thought about this towards him in any way (and that probably doesn't make sense but I guess that's ok to not make sense). Tripp is a chatter box, I took him to the eye dr yesterday. Which means we spent hours in the car together and he never stopped talking; spelling words and asking what he just spelled - He spells an entire sentence and you have to guess where the words start and stop (I guess he's hashtagging and doesn't even know it) and then he's on to something else. Asking where babies come from and why God is in heaven and why the sky is blue and blue is his favorite color and on and on and on jumping from one thing to another and his mind is always moving and his mouth is just trying to catch up, like most kids! But that doesn't make me jealous....
When I see kids Ty's age who communicate freely with their parents and families where all the siblings chat and play and even fight - that's when my heart becomes jealous. Not in a hateful or even an angry way - just jealous because I want that for Ty and for Tripp. For Tripp to have the freedom to talk and seek advice from his big brother, to share their hopes and dreams and talk about girls and to be able to strengthen each other in their faith when that time comes. And so when I see kids Ty's age just being themselves, I kind of become jealous. Some days it's less obvious than others - some days I don't even realize that I'm doing it, it shows up in the midst of life, when we are out and about and a child stares at us in walmart, or when we get a birthday invite from one of tripp's classmates and I wonder if that means Ty can come too? And then I wonder if I should ask if that means siblings are invited and if so do I need inform them on autism and the fact that Ty communicates differently, and then my insecurities take over and I abort the mission all together and decide that we will only go to parties where people know us- I mean that makes sense anyway because most party invites are required to be sent to the whole class and I guess I'm dodging an awkward situation there anyway... Right? Lol... I could list pages of life situations that make me jealous of the ability to talk but I think you probably understand what I am saying....
So tonight when we were at church and the preacher asked "what do we covet? The non-tangible things", a lot of things ran through my mind, but at the root of all these things was this, I covet and am jealous of kids Ty's age that can talk. And that is wrong, and I need to get over it... It creates anxiety, madness and unnecessary grief and all we are called to do is love and share the gospel, so who am I to covet anything? I should be grateful for all that we have and even if all I had was Jesus - He is MORE than enough! And I should be humbled and amazed by the fact that He loves even me...
So I guess I just felt like I should confess that tonight.... I hope it makes sense?! And if it doesn't just call, text or email me and I'll do my best to explain it