a little background

hi, my name is mandy and I have two amazing little boys. My oldest son, Ty, has been diagnosed with autism (which is what you will read most about in this blog); I also have Tripp, who is an amazing little brother to Ty (who you will also hear alot about). I was encouraged to start this blog to document our journey through life and life with autism... my world has been rocked in last few years and i have responded in good ways and bad ... but Jesus has gotten me through all of it...





i hope i can be an encouragement to you, and for the friends and family that will read this - maybe this will keep you posted indepth on what Ty is learning! :) and the adventures of Tripp too





thank you for reading, and if you have any questions, comments or smart remarks; feel free to post them.



Wednesday, October 3, 2012

behavior

Hey everyone! Well I read a post on facebook today that really got me thinking. It was a photo of a 9 year old little boy with autism, who had a black eye and other injuries from police officers that were trying to control him while he was in an "outburst/tantrum" or something like that.... it enraged me! How can someone do that? The story goes something like this:

By JG Vibes
September 27 2012

At Baldwin South Intermediate School in Quincy Illinois a 9 year old autistic child was taken from his special needs classroom with bruises all over his face and incarcerated after he was beat up by police.

The incident began when Roger Parker, Jr. had some sort of unpleasant experience which lead to an outburst, where the teachers had difficulty keeping him under control.

They tried to isolate him in some kind of time out area, which probobly made the situation even more scary and confusing for him. When he tried to get out of this time out area by climbing a dividing wall police were already there to attempt to subdue him.

At that point police officer Calkins ripped the child from the wall by his limbs like a ragdoll, causing his face to smash against the wall, which resulted in a massive black eye . He was then wrestled to the ground by police and taken into custody.

The boy was detained and booked for aggravated battery against a police officer and his family was denied access to him for a certain period of time. Mother Brandi Kirchner told news station KHQA that “I asked to see my son.

Forty-five minutes later, after they told me he did not need a parent present because he was under arrest and not being interrogated. He was fingerprinted, photographed, and booked for aggravated battery to a police officer.”

Kirchner said she is upset because she recently discussed a plan on how to handle her son if he has an outburst.

She believes the plan wasn’t followed and she has concerns that police placed her son in handcuffs before she was ever contacted. Since the incident she has removed her son from the Quincy Public School system and is investigating home schooling options.


Please tell me this is fake and that it didn't happen?! I don't know where to start...?! I posted the picture and link on my facebook page and then I just felt the need to share it here too .... it scares me - mainly because we are dealing with outbursts with Ty right now. He loves to wrestle and has started to push Tripp and others and hit - he can hit pretty hard too. He will just rare back his arms and slingshot them at his target, he doesn't really aim, but he is much taller than most kids his age and his arm span lands right at Tripp's face every time.  We are trying to stop this behavior but it's hard because it will come out of nowhere, if he's playing he thinks its funny to hit, and then when he's mad he rares back and just smacks whatever and whoever is in his way. He has also thrown things at times - and not just a toss - I'm talking fastball with a loud bang at the end. At church sunday he pushed down some of the younger kids in the nursery and it just broke my heart - I don't want him to hurt other kids and I really don't think he wants to either... he just doesn't know how to hold all that in.
I don't want people to be afraid of Ty or afraid of what he might do because he is such a fun kid! He loves life and loves people - he doesn't always know how to express that but we are working on it. He has a hard time realizing his own strength and understanding that he can't tackle everyone he sees. He loves to rough house, I think alot of that has to do with the fact that he needs lots of sensory input and deep pressure input so what better way to get that to wrestle with the nearest prospect?! (So technically he's seeking his own therapy) But teaching him that he can't do that is hard when communication is a barrier. Over the past few months we have realized more and more that Ty does understand what we are saying and that his receptive language is there in a huge way, which is great! But I think the frustration of not being able to tell us what he is thinking and feeling becomes overwhelming and he just gets mad. I know I do - if I can't get my point across to someone it can make me so mad that I could throw, hit, scream... but we learn to control that. So when I read articles about kids and kids with any disability that are arrested and beaten bc they lost control it scares me - what teacher, officer and adult can do this to a child, where is our patience? kindness? gentleness?self-control? How can a 9 year old be charged with assaulting an officer when the nine year old is battered and bruised? If we are all more aware of how to treat others then this can be avoided...
I want to do everything I can to help Ty function in this crazy world but I am terrified of people that will be in his path that don't care and that can potentially hurt him. We are currently surrounded by amazing people, our church family is so gracious and loving. Sunday when he pushed the two kids in the nursery, a friend of mine was there and it was her child that he pushed and she told me how she handled it and at first I felt terrible because he is so much bigger than the others and he does have potential to hurt someone but then I felt God's grace... how amazing is it that they weren't mad or demanding that he be removed? Yes it might just be a shove to some - and I'm not trying to make a big deal out of it but it kind of is a big deal. It's a big deal because there are so many people in this world not willing to understand and that just want to remove "the problem" as they did in that article about the little boy...but not here... he is safe and loved because of the kindness, patience and grace that flows so freely from our friends, family and church family.

We are currently trying to figure out what Ty needs to do at church, I know he is much to big for the nursery, and I'm not exactly sure if he is ready for the sunday school class and children's church??? I am to protective of him when it comes to things like this, I want him to experience life to its fullest but I know that he needs extra eyes, hands & a fast runner in case he decides to make a run for it or anything else.... so most likely we will be attempting children's church together :) I'll let you know how it goes ...

Thanks for reading! Feel free to comment  :)