a little background

hi, my name is mandy and I have two amazing little boys. My oldest son, Ty, has been diagnosed with autism (which is what you will read most about in this blog); I also have Tripp, who is an amazing little brother to Ty (who you will also hear alot about). I was encouraged to start this blog to document our journey through life and life with autism... my world has been rocked in last few years and i have responded in good ways and bad ... but Jesus has gotten me through all of it...





i hope i can be an encouragement to you, and for the friends and family that will read this - maybe this will keep you posted indepth on what Ty is learning! :) and the adventures of Tripp too





thank you for reading, and if you have any questions, comments or smart remarks; feel free to post them.



Friday, January 6, 2012

i may not have super powers but...

There are so many days that I wish I had super powers, so many times when I think "if I could just read his mind, or use some kind of supernatural vision or touch to find out what is going on in his head or what could be hurting in his little body". Because he has a hard time communicating, he can't tell me that something hurts or that he doesn't feel good or what exactly ticked him off or scared him enough to scream relentlessly in the car... and that's when I wish I had some super hero device or super power that could reveal the problem.  Something to just pop up like a warning sign "WARNING: you just made your kid mad by ....." I know you probably think I'm crazy right now or just spending way to much time out in left field but these are the thoughts that cross my mind ...
My younger son Tripp has been in and out of the dr and we discovered he has some form of bronchitis that he cant shake and is now using at home breathing treatments to finally knock out this illness. After all the dr apts with Tripp and finally finding something that works we settled in at home and heard Ty making a high pitched wheeze randomly, normally we would have just ignored it and thought that he was just mimicking some new sounds that he heard ... but because of all that Tripp has been through we thought maybe he needed a trip to the dr. His only other sign of being sick is a runny nose, no fever or any breathing problems, but since he cant tell us if he's ok or not we thought he should go ahead and take him to the local walk in clinic.
I could write an entire book on what happens when we go to the dr but I will spare you the waiting room details this time :) We found out that his lungs are fine but that he did have a pretty bad ear infection and that he needed to be on an antibiotic... So thank you Jesus for showing us something that made us take him in. We visit this clinic often and have pretty much determined that they will be our kids primary physicians since they return phone calls in a timely manner and actually check up on your kids when they are having some serious issues. But all that to say our favorite nurse was on duty and she is amazing! She is so sweet and accommodating to the boys and when I was checking out (it was just me and Ty, Sam was home with Tripp) she walked Ty around the clinic bc there was a line and she could tell I was having quite a time keeping ahold of him and all the stuff I was carrying out (diaper bag, jackets digging for my purse, etc) ...  I kept an eye and ear in his direction but there was really no need, she walked him through the nurses station talking to him the entire time and made the loop through the hall which was just enough time for me to check out and grab him up for an exit.  I thanked her as she helped me put his jacket and hat on while walking out the door and I thought to myself "that was awesome".  I am a very hard headed person and most people that know me would attest to that, and because of my hard headedness (if that's a word) I typically don't ask for help and alot of times will just brush it off and say "thank you but we're good" when it is offered. Not because I think I'm to good for that but because I like to have control of our little world and I don't like to burden others.  Now I'm not saying that I have never asked for help because that would be an outright lie ... but in the little things of life and even in babysitting I feel guilty. These are our kids and we should be able to take care of them. We are very fortunate that both of our parents have been willing to keep our kids for a random date night, and even a girls night for me here or there which is very good for the soul... they have also helped us with therapy schedules, picking up or dropping off kids at daycare/therapy and even taking Ty to USM which is an all day adventure, and much more.  So to ask for help in something as simple as packing up to leave a dr's office seems silly to me and I never really thought much of it. The impact of her simple gesture of just walking with Ty while I checked out has amazed me ... I didn't think it would stay with me for so long but it did and that's made me think. Maybe I need to do little things more often for others. Maybe I need to help someone put their groceries in their car or make silly faces at their kid while we are in line at walmart to stop the screaming? Maybe I just need to tell them that it's ok and I know where their coming from? Maybe I need to stop thinking about myself and start looking towards others. It's so easy for me to get caught up in what we are doing with Ty that I miss what's going on around us. I get so focused in on making sure I have everything in line for him wherever we go, escape routes(because if I don't see them he will) or funny comments to break the ice and let someone know that it's ok to talk about autism, it's ok to talk about what we do for him, or why he can't do certain things, or even offer suggestions on what might work better for him/us. I love to talk about my kids and I will gladly talk with anyone about my boys and Ty's treatments, diagnosis, therapy or silly habits but I don't know how to offer it... and honestly I don't want to offer it up for conversation and be turned down.  But I do want others to know that I still care about them too and I don't want people to feel like our conversation will always turn to me and then Ty... so if i'm talking to much about autism/treatments/schools just tell me ... I can take it :)

So i may not have super powers but i sure wish i could pick just one!

thanks for reading! hope it all makes since!